You
I can’t believe what I’ve found.
Do you have any idea how much this hurts?
I wish I could be next to you.
But I’m so afraid to get close.
Shit
One thing and I’m down.
The next, I’m up.
You breathe
I fail.
Is that alright?
If I give up
and you show it.
We’re not going to make it
I felt it
the spot that you touched
did I say that I want you
I need to die.
How can a person live
and feel everything
and dream
without crying.
For You
With you
I hold my breath.
There is something about you thats so cold.
but when I’m next to you
underneath you
against you
I feel everything you wont say
You will be swallowed alive by the things you hate
Your heart will go to waste with yourself
Everything you have for them
will go to waste in scum of your life
and whats left will be marks
for the days you remember
I haven’t always been like this
I used to feel.
Little Sister
I can never save you from a man. That thought scares me so bad. I never want you to feel what I’ve felt. I never want you to do what I’ve done.
I can’t even remember all the boys I’ve slept with. I think I could count on one hand the boys who I’ve actually spoken to after.
This wears on a person. There is only so much of yourself you can give away without getting anything back.
Baby girl, please…if you never listen to a thing I say…please just listen to this. Try to save yourself. Don’t give anything away that you can’t take back. Don’t let yourself think you are nothing without a man. It’s a lie. You’re more wonderful then you will ever know.
I know someday it’ll happen. I’ve gone over this conversation in my head a thousand times, and I keep coming back to the horrible conclusion that I was supposed to be the example. I was supposed to be the one to show you how to be confident, and how to show others that. I’ve failed you my love. I’ve done a horrible job of showing you this, and I hope someday you’ll forgive me.
Please darling, please know how much you mean to me. If they don’t love you like I do….they have nothing. Give them nothing.
Smokes.
You are the slowest death
I’ve ever tasted.
There is no depth
to breathe you in
that kills me faster
then this air
I catch on my lips
You are the shell
that someone left
along my way
for shattered thoughts
are always competition
to the carcass
that is your heart
I’ll waste the hours
of my life
to make you my
choice of suicide
if only to be
between my fingers
for a moment
There she goes.
When I woke up this morning…I was thinking about you. So quickly, I sat down for some mind numbing cartoons with the sister, only to break into tears for no apparent reason. Some days are just not meant to be spent awake.
I find myself giving up. Faster now.
In your face
I will walk the steps you take
kiss the things you hurt.
I fall for the heart you walk on
and dream of the pain you speak.
I imagined you in your dark room
and stripped you with my mind.
You are so fond of the things you see
and hate the things you touch.
If I were your pain
I would fill your mind.
If I were your heart
I would bleed your soul.
I am still here. On the other side.
The mirror never looks back.
Fashioned
I held my heart between my legs
and crossed my chest with pens.
I faked an orgasm once again
and taped it to my wall.
I cleaned you up
from between my twins.
The flesh was raw
your scent stayed.
Fuck my heart
it only comes once.
